Last Monday evening, I cautiously started making changes to this Blog. It’s been awhile, I know…..
I changed the website format which I suck at, but, it needed a revamp. I thought since I was doing that, I should update the “About” section. I was at a work conference downtown on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. Downtown was full of “Swifties” and people getting ready for Pride…… it was very busy.
Anyway’ s, I couldn’t complete the “About” section until Thursday. As I was reading it, I was reminded by what I hoped this Blog would be. I wanted to write every Wednesday about Aria and suicide prevention. Create a dialogue that elicits change. It was a tall order, but, I had to channel my energy somewhere. As time went on, writing every week became too taxing on my emotional, mental, and physical health. It was a stretch to think I could. It wasn’t just the Blog or suicide prevention advocacy, its that everyday I’m still trying to figure out how to navigate life without Aria. Being a “bereaved parent” is absolutely exhausting.
I was just wanted to make these quick edits. I wasn’t planning on writing at all……
I turned off my social media for a well needed Break. Other than Facebook and only because I’m trying to sell an Entertainment Set on Marketplace. If anyone is interested, let me know.
As I was making the edits, I was looking through photos to find a pic to “represent” the change of the Blog format. I kept finding pictures that Aria took of the Sun and Sky. I was captivated. Some of these pictures I’ve seen, but, not all of them. If you are new to this Blog, I should inform you that Aria and my photos merged when I turned off her cell phone two months after her passing. I have over 14,000 photos on my phone. When you see these pics you will see the mystery, wonder, and the beauty she saw. These are moments she captured on her own. Moments she thought were beautiful and worth remembering. Let me emphasize that all of these pictures were taken within 8 months of her passing.
Last week during the conference, Swiftie Mania, and Pride, I was invited to see Tootsie at the Orpheum with a couple of my co-workers. Actually, they are not JUST co-workers, they are both my boss. It’s so nice to work for/with such kind hearted and student focused women. I was stoked to be invited. Anyways, I’ve never seen Tootsie the movie. I’ve seen the promo picture of ” Tootsie” a.k.a Dustin Hoffman 1000x but I didn’t know what it was about. Perfect show to see and celebrate during Pride weekend.
I was captivated by the show. The music, the acting, the singing, and the dancing was fantastic. I realized I like plays better if I don’t know the storyline. Otherwise, I’m just sitting there thinking about everything that’s yet to come and I have a harder time enjoying it. I was fully invested in this show. My elbows were on my knees, my hands cradling my chin. I couldn’t get close enough. As much as I loved the music and the overall experience of the show, there were more important “life” take-away’s. The one that rang true for me was, “Sometimes you have to be something else to find out who you truly are and where you’re supposed to be.”
( Not sure if this is an intended theme of the show, however, that’s the beauty of art)
That thought kept resonating with me all evening. I made a choice that I was going to write a Blog along with the changes I’ve made. They are connected somehow but what is it?
What if Aria was solely put here to show us beauty and light? What if her home was always Heaven in the Sky/Sun? What if she was just sent here to teach us a lesson? What if she knew this would happen all along? What if she needed to be human to complete her destiny as an angel? What if she always knew it was MY destiny to honor her, fight, and be her voice? What if she needed to be human to complete her destiny as an angel? What if she knew she had to die for people to start caring about children and mental health? What if she needed to be human…………….. to complete her destiny as an angel?
I don’t know the plan. That’s the mystery and beauty of it, just like the pictures Aria left behind for us to see.
The next morning, I was headed back to the conference. I turned on the radio in hopes to drown out the sound of my own voice trying to figure out an interesting “Title/Theme” for this Blog. The first song that they played was Taylor Swift’s, Back to December…………..
Ah ha…. that’s it. That’s what its supposed to be
“I’ll go Back to the Sky all the time”
Maybe she needed be human to complete her destiny of being an angel and go back to the sky.
** Click the “YouTube” links below, they are videos by Aria**